here is a day to type out my thoughts...
I guess not everything needs structure, right? I even think to myself if anyone will ever read this, if anyone will have a reaction to it, or if anyone cares enough to read all the information. I admit that I don't always write with a structure in mind, something planned, or even go back to read what I've written. OH those countless classes of English and I still can't write a proper statement about how I feel. xD
I guess that's what I'm good at, I justify all those times that I do something wrong as if someone will kill me if I don't. Then you might ask at this moment, what I'm going on talking about in this post. I know that life doesn't have to be perfect, and I don't need to justify my rights or wrongs to anyone, but we are the type of people that seem to give an apology even when we're right. Silly, isn't it?
This is what I do on here, I type about my thoughts and I share them with you whether you read it or not. Maybe, I could be the only one reading. So, I understand that I don't need to justify everything I say or do, but I've always done so. Let's just slowly get rid of those thoughts...
Let me just TRY to express with no justifications and judgement of right and wrong. Every idea can be abstract. Okay, Sun, let's go.
This VAGUE topic
This is what I have been planning the first couple weeks of my Sophomore year in college. The question is, what am I going to do in the FUTURE? I'm not just asking this for myself, but I know many people in other college programs have it harder to find jobs then other majors with a higher rate of finding a job. At this moment, it's not the "searching for a job" part that I'm concerned with, but the part I'm concerned with is what I really want to do. Having a Computer Science major in the beginning open doors to many many software engineering jobs, designing jobs, and coding jobs. But, Engineering Management is a whole world of it's own. It opens the book to a world that I find much better, much more exciting, yet more scary. It seems like something where I would be on my own, no one to tell me where to start or how to go about it. Even from the beginning this seemed like the path that I would choose. I know this is right for me, but afraid of the outcomes.
TIME is the biggest factor, the biggest question is that there is so much that I want to do but I don't know when there will be a time to finish everything. I don't know what this program will put me into (the kind of career, the type of work, the type of emotions). I don't know when I will have time to learn the "so much more" things I want to learn in life.
I know I'm not alone doing this, but it's not the same as what others would do. This ambition is not what everyone strives for. I know that I wouldn't want to stay in one place or stick to one thing, so I continue to learn. I might even spend my whole LIFE learning about new things.
Okay, I'm going on a tangent. Let's go back to my explanation about time.
This is what I want to do:
-Engineering Management Co-op
-Build a artistic career
I mean that list goes on... There are things that I want to accomplish in a span of a couple years that may not be possible. Studying abroad is something you do while in school, which I don't know where that fits in my plan of studies. Co-op is mandatory for my program, and a little part of me is afraid that I won't find an internship I would love. If that happens then I don't know where to get started with finding a career after I graduate, but I know it's too early to understand the outcomes.
After I graduate I still want to do things like travel and visit family. But, truthfully how can I have a job and do these things at the same time? What if I want to travel multiple times a year, which just may seem impossible. Some future I still want to study Cosmetology, because it's something I have a passion for. I also want to learn code in other languages besides C++ and C#. I want to build my YouTube career. Learn new artistic skills. && Dance more, but when?
I'm not sure.
Cherish That Present Moment
These are just the ideas that I've had. I know that as long as I keep these things in mind, I would strive to achieve them. The best would be to live day by day in happiness knowing that everything will be great in the end.
Maybe, I won't be able to accomplish everything in the time spans that are given to me, but at least I know that if I died tomorrow I had ambitions to do things and I was content with the way I am now. ♡♡♡
If you ever have any thoughts, feelings, etc. You can always reach out to me. I am no therapist, but I can always be a friend to speak to <3
Thanks for visiting my loves!
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