Thursday, May 12th
I guess it could be the feeling of finally fitting in somewhere effortlessly. I think it's enough to say that about the dance team I was with for the whole school year. In no way do they validate who I am or completely take away all the sad feelings I may have at times, but they make you appreciate those around you. Even if loneliness is present when I'm by myself, the feeling is not present when I'm with them.
There's around 19 people that are a part of the dance team now and it continues to grow bigger and bigger, yet it's amazing that we are so connected to each other and that we don't form our little cliques. We perform together, and we all bond together. Even if it doesn't stay like this for long it really does make me appreciate those around me more because I learned to have this team connectedness with all the members.
They all understand that little things MATTER. And that, each person's feelings need to be sought after and cared for. Through this school year that's what I felt like. Even when I had the idea of leaving the team, something brought me back and that was friendship that we had. It's not something that I can explain properly, but that was the reason I was back. I originally joined to make new friends despite some people telling me that you join a dance team to just learn about dance, but that's not how we were. I saw the love that we had for one another once we took the time out to celebrate events with each other and take the time to simply ask the whole group if we want to eat together for lunch.
The numerous times that the team cared for me and did things for me made me feel a part of something, but doing so effortlessly.
Whether those times included: having our small talks, bonfire for my birthday, going out to eat, playing Mafia at my house, or simply telling me I'm beautiful without makeup makes me feel appreciated and makes me appreciate. Those are the times that I can just live in the moment and continue to live in the moment. I can't say that my personality had totally changed by those on the team, but there are things that I realize I'm lucky to have and that I should appreciate more. Something that I will never forget as we all work together and have fun together.
We are even vulnerable enough to be emotional together, and that's when I know that each person on the team has let go of themselves and opened up to each other. That's how we define our friendship.
If any of you are reading this right now, I love all of you and thank you for your endless amounts of care! ♡♡
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